I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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