It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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