spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
