Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
