just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
