I am puke
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
