Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
