sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
