she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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