She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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