Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize