He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
