I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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