He disabled his match.com account in front of me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
