well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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