So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
