Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
