"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
