Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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