You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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