he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
