Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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