return my video game
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
