Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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