Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
