My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
