apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
