with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
