she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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