I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
