im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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