Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
