they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
