Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
