I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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