I love black thongs
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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