Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
