Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
