garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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