Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
