I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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