The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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