You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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