Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
