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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
