Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
