Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
