Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
