Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
