Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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