Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
