Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
