I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fuck appropriateness.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
